Negative No More

I’ve been contemplating starting a new blog for awhile. My old blog started out with lots of random posts on what I was doing and thinking. Then after a few years devolved into only restaurant and book reviews and finally just book reviews. Twitter and Facebook contributed greatly to that decline allowing me to post my random thoughts more easily and succinctly in other places. I sometimes miss having a place to do some long-form writing, but I didn’t want to just recreate my old blog in a new space.

Recently though I came up with a focused idea for a new blog. I realized that I have been thinking way too negatively about things that I should really be happy about. I have always had a tendency to dwell on the bad things in life no matter how little they are. This has been especially pronounced lately for me with all the changes that have been going on around me. These changes are not mine. They are all big changes in the lives of my close friends. In the past 6 months or so pretty much every close friend I have (no exaggeration) has either moved farther away from me, started a new job, or had a kid (with many more friends to soon have kids). These are all super exciting things, and yet I sit here only thinking about how much it sucks that I no longer see my friends as often because they live farther away or are busy with their kids. Some of it does come from feelings of loss, but also some feelings of jealousy I think because my life is not changing in any way. But I’m realizing how ridiculous that is. I could do all of these things if I wanted. Yet I like my job, I like living in the city and not the suburbs, and I don’t want kids, so I really need to reframe my thinking. I don’t want to be the kind of person that can’t be inwardly happy for my friends when wonderful, exciting things happen to them.

Thus I decided that my new blog would be a place where I concentrate on all the good things in life both the big and the small. My friends are moving on to places where they’re happier and although things will be different can be exciting for me as well. I get to enjoy the niceties of hanging out in houses that have yards without having to take care of a yard, I get to hang with some cute kids and then pass them back to their parents to deal with the non-fun stuff, I still get to enjoy all the good things in the life I’ve created for myself and that is what this blog is all about. This will be the most negative post found here. This will not be a venue for me to complain about anything. Instead it will be a place for me to share the things that are making me smile. So join me on this new adventure to a happier life if you want and feel free to share the things that are making your life happier.

 

4 thoughts on “Negative No More

  1. It’s funny how easy it is to get into those negative thought patterns, and how hard it is to get out of them. That’s a lot of what I was working on with Heather the Therapist. There isn’t a cure, so to speak, but I found that just being able to say “oh, I’m doing that thing where I assume the worst will happen” would at least enable me to try to consciously just change what I was thinking about to another topic entirely. What helped the most was just getting out of the situation that was causing them, but unless you get a job in DC and start commuting on the MARC with me I’m not sure what the solution is. 🙂

  2. PS I totally hear you on the whole situation. This is the first time in my life where I really feel like I’m on a hamster wheel. For the first several decades of life I was always working toward something. Growing up, graduating, school, grad school, then dating & engagement and even the year of house hunting. Now I feel like I’m twiddling my thumbs. I’ve been doing silly things like re-arranging the house weekly but I didn’t really put my finger on the “why” until recently. So thumbs up on the looking for happiness where it lies. 🙂

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